Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Bat Out of Hell

Okay, so I am the type that jumps into things with both feet. Rarely do I sit and contemplate the outcomes of events years down the road. But for the first time, I am contemplating… and man, it can be a little scary.

I know this blog (which I set up to be about my writing), has blossomed into life learned lessons and my tendencies to ramble about events and thinking that inspire some to live a more peaceful life, a more authentic existence; but let’s face it, sometimes authenticity can be overwhelming. When I decided to live a more authentic life, it caused me to face some pretty intense feelings, experiences, and thoughts.

I’ve always known most of my life, what I focus my attention on, will grow and manifest in my life. I also grew up knowing that when I wanted something, I must act like I already have it. Growing up knowing this was… empowering, to say the least; yet as I moved out into the “real world” I began to let everyone else’s definition of who I was take over my authenticity. Slowly limited thinking clouded who I was. I got caught up in living up to everyone else’s expectations of me. I didn’t take time to remember who I was, what was important in my life, and how I was going to go about being the most authentic person I could be. Like Oreos to my hips, it snuck up on me.

All of a sudden, the whispers mattered, the smirks hurt, and the expectations of others battered my heart. In the flash of a moment, what other people thought about me, became my shackles. Locked in the consciousness of am I worthy enough, am I thin enough, am I educated enough.

Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we let other people’s insecurities become our own? At what point did we let that parent, friend, relative or authority figure press their negative sharp words into the sweet dough of our lives? Was it when we were children, adolescents, young adults, parents, grandparents? When did we lose the ability to see the forest for the trees?

It happened when we conformed to everyone else’s fears, doubts, and limitations. The insidiousness of negative beliefs are lightning fast. When we start believing in lack, fear, and hate, our lives immediately begin to mirror that belief. When we believe we aren’t worthy, life hands it to us completely. “Here you go, hope you enjoy. Would you like some self loathing with that?”

When was the last time, any of us sat motionless and contemplated the achievements in our lives? What was that, you’ve never done it? EVER? Maybe it’s time. Maybe right now, today, we need to take ten minutes and think about all the things we’ve accomplished in our lives. No matter how small they may appear, or how huge they were, we need to take a moment to appreciate our victories.

You exercised an hour, you won free tickets, you didn’t eat the huge piece of cake, you got your masters, you nailed your job interview, you met a new friend, bought a house, or paid cash for something you’ve saved up for. Whatever it was that sparked that self-love and infinite joy within your life. It’s those events that we must let fill our minds, soak in the excitement that swells in our hearts, and bathes in our pride.

Then will we begin to celebrate our lives. Then will roll out the sweet dough of our lives and cut out the shapes we want to make up our experiences.

It’s only when we see the goodness in everything; that we can truly be authentic.

Thanks for reading my ramblings, here is a thank you picture for you....Max???? hummmm

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