Fear of Failing

FEAR OF FAILING 

When we stand on the precipice of a new day, a new moment, a new way of thinking and leap off into the unknown there's a moment of uncertainty that arises. It's that particular point in time as we're flying through the vast open space of the moment, where our future is just a speck below us, and our past is left up on the cliff, and we ask ourselves, "What the hell did I just do?" 

At that moment of realization we discover fear is a real powerful emotion. So powerful in fact that it has cemented us into the exact space we struggle to overcome. 

People holler to us ... don't worry, be brave, discover your passion, do your best. And as we are sailing through this wide open point of discovery we ask ourselves, what if regret appears to be my best? What if crippling fear shows up as my best? What if buckling to the pressures of life seems to be my best? What if failure is all I am going to experience?

To those of you who are sailing through the vast space of "oh sh*t", let me say this... Sometimes we don't have to be the best, all we have to do is show up and be willing to participate.

In order to manifest, produce or overcome the results of the world we have to stop looking at the world as the barometer of our life. We become so caught up in the fear of failure, that we lose the idea that it's our inalienable right to do so. When we glide through the air in our leap of faith and the wind is catching our hair and it is brushing our cheeks, and causing our eyes to water, there's a point in us that will discover that in order to move forward we must be willing to first leap and second be okay with failing. 

It isn't the act of failing that dictates our outcome, it's our reaction to it. ~ G. de la O.

In other words, well, actually in Albert Einstein's words, "We can't change a problem with the same consciousness that created it." 

When you fail at one thing, own it, hold your head up high and be proud of it, because it that point of failing, you leapt. You took a chance where you invested in something greater than fear. You opened yourself up to growth and you expanded your consciousness. You succeeded at knowing what NOT to do the next time.  

We live in a society where our children are terrified to fail. They are scared to try because they don't want the world to crush them, judge their attempts, or shame them for not succeeding the first time. 

It's time that the pendulum of discovery swing back the other direction. We must let our Future see that it's okay to fail and that fear is okay when you know what to do with it. We must show the young that failing is inevitably the biggest sign of living. They need to see that we can bounce back, regroup and try again. Failure isn't the last train station of your life. The track is endless, the train keeps going. 

Failure is nothing more than a jumping off point to discover you can rise up from the ashes and start anew. We don't have to fear the act of failing because in every action and every reaction there is a gravity of love, compassion, intelligence, openness, discovery, and growth.

Leap off the edge of who you were yesterday and embrace the feeling of letting go of the process you think it must do. There is a power greater than you, that knows what to do and how to do it. 

Let today, be the best November 24th, 2015 ever!

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings! 

Love,
Gretchen

Truth is When You Are Done Proving Yourself

You don't have to sacrifice yourself in order to be brilliant, you just have to be willing to do the work.

Be willing to be vulnerable, be willing to let go of being right, or being something to everyone. Be something to yourself. This isn't self-indulgence, it's self-reliance, self awareness, self-fulfillment. It's diving so deep into who you are, that when you come up for air you gasp at what you discovered. You marvel at the idea that you are not the body you are housed in, or the material things you accumulate. You discover that within every experience you've had, there was something greater at work than your own ego, ideas, beliefs or wishes. You discover that your connection with others is a stronger bandwidth than you anticipated.

Your Truth is complete abandonment of your ego and need of having to be right. It’s letting go of the idea that you must be heard, or be proven. What in the world do you have to prove? Stop talking and people will suddenly listen. Stop arguing and people will take notice, stop the riggers of discontent and people will stop feeding that monster. 

When you let go of your need to be right, be heard, or be proven it can be scary. Suddenly you're floating in an ocean of uncharted territory. Instantly you have to tread water where before you swam a strong stroke. You have to float on your back and not foresee where you are going. But in doing that, it begins to create an understanding that what is happening to the world outside of you, isn’t what is happening to the world inside of you. You will discover that you are more than enough.

But, you have to learn how to silence the voice inside your head. You know the one that tells you, “You must fight to be right!”  

Let me clear something up for you, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGHT TO BE RIGHT. 

Your Truth, who you are will be revealed the second you stop trying to prove who you are. Truthfully, the mere fact that you were born is proof enough that within you is a power at work greater than anything you feel you need to prove. There is nothing more to prove, nothing more to argue about. How you live your life, how you cooperate, coordinate, facilitate and participate is nothing more than a reflection of what you’ve been taught to expect or believe to be facts. Well, and we all know facts can change.

Your Truth is unchangeable, it’s non-negotiable, it isn’t fiction or woo-woo. Your Truth is irrevocable, it’s dynamic and never stagnant. It is who you are when the world turns away, it’s the Divine spark that never stops burning, it is your creative process, it’s the connection you have with nature. Your Truth is love. Pure, unadulterated, non-sexual, unconditional, irreplaceable, bigger than child/mother connection, LOVE. It’s not explainable, it’s undefinable, it’s limitless in its totality. Your Truth is the omnipotence of God acting through you.  

When we see our Truth for what it is, we begin to understand why we don’t have to waste our breath explaining who we are or feel the need to prove anything to anyone. We don’t need to because the Universe is doing it for us by acting through us.

So today, I stop trying to prove I’m right. I stop arguing for the conditional when the unconditional is at my fingertips. I let go of the idea that limited definitions, or the human condition creates any part of my Truth. I am a child of God, carrying out my life the best way I know how to. I let go of the need to fight to be right. I let go of those people who feel the need to fight to be right. I embrace the Truth of who I AM and I approach everyone, (and I mean EVERYONE) with kindness, compassion, empathy and understanding. How freeing it is to know I don’t have to play in the muck and mire of discontent. That my Truth is ultimately their Truth too.

It’s so empowering to know that there is a greatness in each and every person I come in contact with, and I have the ability to connect with them at that level. Even the people who hate me, even the people who hurt me so deeply. Everyone has this capacity, and it’s in our willingness to discover it, nurture it, come from it, and embrace it that will give us the most freedom. Freedom from the bondage of pain, suffering, hate, anger, jealousy. It is an evolving process, a life’s work that will never be done. It’s a forever process of enlightenment, unfolding discovery, involvement, evolution and continuum of growth.

Today, if I have a millisecond of clarity and experience a sliver of my inner Truth, I know that I have moved closer to the pinnacle of my life’s work. It isn’t the instant we hit the ground that we are searching for, it’s the thrill of flying through the air after we've jumped.  That’s where we find the most growth in our humanity, and our spirituality. It isn’t about sticking the landing, but what we do while we are flying through the air that matters.

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings!

Love,

Gretchen

Take the Beam From Your Eye First

How many bones must a dog bury before it has enough? How many songs must we listen to in order to understand suffering? How many tears must fall before we forgive?

When we look at life as if it is disposable, replaceable, or a rehearsal we short change ourselves the opportunity to live up to our true potential. When we are flung upon the sharp tongues of others, why are we disenchanted by the mouths that scar us? A life can be given in 15 seconds and destroyed in 3. A career that took a lifetime to build can crumble in a blink of an eye. Are we truly that blind? Isn’t it in this moment that we should remove the beam from our own eye before we can pluck the speck from our neighbor’s?

If our eyes were really the true window to the soul why are we so blind to the hypocrisy in the world? We see what we want to and ignore that which makes us uncomfortable. We are taught to attack the flaws of others, because compassion would make us look weak. And yet, even as we speak love from one side of our mouths, we whisper words of hate through the other. We exploit the misfortunes of others and become empowered by the spineless that stand behind us. We are fed by jealously and bound by insecurity.

We claim we are passive and yet we aggressively push for people’s sympathy. Are we truly the ones who need sympathy? Or could our misfortunes and successes be measured by the choices we make? Anyone can ask for sympathy, live in fear, and be ruled by judgment, but it takes strength, courage, and higher thinking to rise above the static that fills the empty space. 

We are constantly praised and coddled by the masses for embracing the fractured bones that weaken us. Have we fallen so deep that we grapple and cling to the bones of trail-blazers that came before us? At what cost will our egos be rewarded? At what point will the pain be enough to keep us motivated? When will the dried, splintered remains of teachers before us become the legacies of what was instead of what could be?


We will always be imprisoned by thoughts of yesterday if we don’t replace them with thoughts of what we want for tomorrow. Right now we are the most powerful thing in our lives. From the moment we open our eyes to the moment our heads sink into our pillows every word we utter, every thought we think and every action we take sets up the cause and effect of our lives. We can choose to flick the domino of life and embrace the outcome or we can stand on the sidelines afraid of what will happen. The choice has always been ours. 

Our life is meant to be lived, active, expanding, and fluidic. We are meant to shine, be brilliant, and yes, even falter sometimes. We are wired to live life the best way we can. Why would we long for Peace if we weren’t meant to have it? Why do we ache for love if we were never destined to experience it? Why would we be given freedom of choice if we were never fated to use it? We are created to experience the best life we know how to live, and in doing so we sometimes lose our way. We become caught up in the lives of others, we become defined by who we allow others to label us as. We give our power to those outside of our inner dwelling. Just because we are who we are today, doesn’t mean we can’t be who we decide we want to be tomorrow. 

Every second of everyday we are changing, growing, and expanding our life experiences. When we allow others to pipe in, we are giving our power away. We know who we are and what we need to do. When did we lose our way? When did the words of strangers or others become who or what we are? Perhaps it happened when we were down, scared, ruled by fear, maybe it occurred when we got lost in the world. Maybe we allowed others to run with our power when we stopped listening to our intuition. Either way, today is the day we take baby steps to reclaiming our power! Right now, at this moment, we will reclaim our inner spark that has always burned brightly in the core of our being. 

What once was will never empower what will be. We can’t take what we want and bottle it in the old used containers of yesterday. We must take a new, clear, beautiful bottle of today and fill it with what we want for tomorrow. 

I will not fill you with falsehood and tell you it is easy. It is not! But what I will say is this … when you decide to love instead of hate, celebrate instead of denigrate, embrace instead of push away, embody peace instead of dysfunction, pleasure instead of pain, you will begin to feel your world change, and then you will see it transform. You will stop embodying what is so wrong with the world and start personifying what is so right. You will give up the judgments, the pain and anger and you will begin to embrace the beauty around you, feel the pleasure life will bring you and start to love the world for what it is, because you and everyone around you deserve to live in LOVE, PEACE, HARMONY, ABUNDANCE, and JOY.

Start today by making a conscious choice to think better thoughts. That’s all it takes is a conscious act of changing your thinking. May today be the start of you following your bliss, taking the bull by the horns, and making the world a better place because you are in it!

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings!

Yosemite Trip taken by Jared de la O 2012. Power At Its Purest!

 

Sometimes You Just Gotta Dig....

The other day I had someone ask me, how can I live without the scars of my past rearing their heads and the bruises of my childhood showing up from my past? How can I ever get over the fear and pain that is etched in every fold of my heart and every curve of my brain?

Sometimes the answers aren’t simple, and sometimes it’s the simplest of moments that can heal a life time of devastation and destruction. Think about it…how can we move forward in our lives if at every door we have ghosts falling out of our closets and at every turn we have past experiences that keep slapping us in the face? I’m not going to tell you that you will fix this over night…I won’t even tell you, you will overcome your trespassers in this life time…but I will try and help you come to realize that overcoming your fear and pain, your anger and guilt isn’t in any way admitting that you are weak, that you are wrong, or that you don’t deserve the best that life has to offer.

I’m also not going to tell you that your pain isn’t real. It’s real and it isn’t something you can brush under the misconception that pretending it doesn’t exist will ever make it go away. We ALL are dealt with blows so devastating in our lives that we either crumble under the pressure or we rise above the pain.  

There are times where the answers are more difficult to hear than the actual act of applying them to your life.

But I will say that when you learn that external experiences are just that…external experiences and that inside you resides a power that created the radiant pull of the moon, the rotation of the planets, and the heart beat that keeps you alive…that is a magnificence you can’t deny. There is a power greater than you and you have the ability to use it. As a matter of fact…you were born with the capacity to use it and it's right where you are!

We have the ability to think. We have the ability to contemplate and make decisions. We have the power to take an idea and form it into something that will either catapult the human race forward or annihilate an entire country. We have the ability to choose and in that ability is where our power lies. Our true power lies in our capacity to make choices. Sounds simple, elementary, even easy to do…but when you learn that volition is something everyone has, it’s a game changer. A huge game changer!

It is at the point of realization where we must decide if we are going to be a victim to our past or a creator of our future. Now I know what you are thinking…come on Gretchen are you really gonna tell me, with a straight face, that we have the power to create our future? YES. I am going to tell you that and I will even go as far as to tell you that the minute you give up the stories of yesterday your tomorrow changes immediately. We can’t move forward in our lives if we keep hanging onto our past. We must let go of the rope that keeps us tangled in the past and reach for the ladder which supports us into our future. Let go of what we can’t change, let go of what keeps us bound in limitation and learn to accept the limitless treasures residing within.

The easiest way to start is forgiveness. We must forgive in order to move forward in our life. We must learn to let go of the pain that clings to our memories of what other people did to mark our souls. I’m not asking you to forget…but I am saying you must let go of the pain that has weaved itself into every fiber of your being, one moment at a time.

I think you need to be told you are brilliant, you need to be reminded you are Love, and that you are a perfect expression of Peace. You need to learn about the unlimited power that lives in your soul. You need to know that the most powerful way to reclaim who you are is by changing your thinking. In the Bible it says, “It is done unto you as you believe.” Read that again…IT IS DONE UNTO YOU AS YOU BELIEVE.

If it is done unto you as you believe, then that means what you believe…right now…is what your life is going to be.

What do you believe about yourself and others? Do you believe you are brilliant? Do you believe you are a perfect expression of life? Do you believe you deserve to be successful, brilliant, and happy? Or are you falling back on the same excuses that kept you exactly where you’ve been stuck?

Anyone can blame others for their plight in life. Don’t be anyone! Look at your past for what it is…A learning experience that helped you grow into the individual you are today. Say goodbye to the empty shells of experiences that you have outgrown and enter into the countless possibilities waiting for you to explore. Stop playing victim; we have enough people filling that role. It isn’t virtuous, it isn’t giving you the power to change your life…All it’s doing is keeping you shackled to your past beliefs and limiting definitions. Be the change you want to see in the world…heck, just by reading this you have taken the first step! Pull out a journal; write down one thing you are grateful for then the next day try and find two things…eventually, you will be able to put the journal aside because your consciousness will create the habit of finding the pearls in your life even among the muddiest of clams. Start finding the pearls in every life experience you have…they are there, sometimes you just gotta dig. Believe me!

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings.

Why Won't They Listen?

So even when I think I’ve heard it all…something tends to come up and bite me right in the ass; yep…teeth marks and everything. It caused me to pause and question just what in the hell have I been trying to do all my life?

Simply put…

Why can’t people just be what I want them to be? Why can’t they just fall into the role I see them as? I mean I do it all the time with the characters in my head. And for the most part…my characters will listen. I mold and shape their personalities or at least I think I do, I tell them what to wear, how to talk, what they are going to do. Hell, I even tell them when they can pee, eat, have sex, and sleep. So, then, why can’t breathing, living, individual people do what I tell them to do, when I tell them to do it? Can’t they see I know what’s best for everyone? (yeah right!)

First, let me just say shoulding on people sucks…for you and them. But I’ll be damned if life doesn’t make shoulding on people super easy. It is so effortless to do. What? You have no idea what I’m talking about? Come on, you should know, it’s the act of telling them what they should or shouldn’t do. “Hey, So & So, you should do this,” and “you should do that.” Our lives make it soooo easy to cast the first stone doesn’t it? But I heard something this weekend that made me straighten up, listen, and begin to re-evaluate my habit of shoulding people.

“YOU CAN’T MAKE PEOPLE BECOME SOMEONE THEY AREN’T.”

WHAT????....SERIOUSLY???  

Yeah, seriously.

Let me say it this way…You can’t make someone into something that suits you. You can’t define what you think that person can or can’t be…because it isn’t your job. It isn’t your birthright to try and mold people into what you want them to be. They have their own perceptions, their own aspirations, and their own ideals of what makes them who they are. Your birthright is to be the best, most loving, authentic person you can be, while discovering all the wonders life has to offer you. It’s about changing your own idea about yourself and how you take shape in your experience of life.

There is nothing noble about taking someone who might not understand where their power lies and try and mold them into something you want them to be. Life is a journey. It’s as individual as the skin and bones that house your soul. Taking on someone’s responsibility of how they should act and how they should behave is only setting you up for disappointment, believe me…because they will NEVER live up to the expectations you’ve set for them. And on the flip side, they might not conform to the limited definition you labeled them with either. So why do we continue to do it? Why are we hurt when they don’t become what we want them to? I’ll tell you why (of course right?)…because it isn’t your responsibility to define who they are and what they should be doing. Do you hear me? Let me say that again…It isn’t your responsibility to save or change anyone.

OH…YEAH…BUT…but nothing. It isn’t your job, responsibility, or right to project your definition of who they should be on anyone…ever. Who gave you the right? Certainly not any Divine Intelligence that I am aware of. I know we all have such good intentions but sometimes those good intentions end up smacking the people we love right between the eyes.

If you truly want to know…your responsibility is to be the best person you know how to be. Be the encouraging friend, supportive partner, caring parent, compassionate relative and loving human being you were placed on this earth to be. We all are born to shine; we are all here to experience the creative urge of life.

What goes around comes around in this world... “It is done unto you as you believe.” So now the question is…what do you believe? Do you believe you are a mighty moving force in this world? Or are you willing to sacrifice your happiness to the judgments of others? 

Don’t let fear dictate how you experience your life. You are born in love, made out of love and are animate from love with every breath you take. You wouldn’t long for something better if you weren’t meant to have it! You wouldn’t ache for peace and harmony in your life if it wasn’t something which already existed in your DNA. You can't see love, but you know it exists. You can’t physically hold a thought in your hands, but you know it’s there. We exist in a material world governed by invisible laws. Laws we use every day and yet never comprehend their true power. Let’s face it…you reap what you sow! So what are you planting in the garden of your life?

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings.

Love,

Gretchen