Why Won't They Listen?

So even when I think I’ve heard it all…something tends to come up and bite me right in the ass; yep…teeth marks and everything. It caused me to pause and question just what in the hell have I been trying to do all my life?

Simply put…

Why can’t people just be what I want them to be? Why can’t they just fall into the role I see them as? I mean I do it all the time with the characters in my head. And for the most part…my characters will listen. I mold and shape their personalities or at least I think I do, I tell them what to wear, how to talk, what they are going to do. Hell, I even tell them when they can pee, eat, have sex, and sleep. So, then, why can’t breathing, living, individual people do what I tell them to do, when I tell them to do it? Can’t they see I know what’s best for everyone? (yeah right!)

First, let me just say shoulding on people sucks…for you and them. But I’ll be damned if life doesn’t make shoulding on people super easy. It is so effortless to do. What? You have no idea what I’m talking about? Come on, you should know, it’s the act of telling them what they should or shouldn’t do. “Hey, So & So, you should do this,” and “you should do that.” Our lives make it soooo easy to cast the first stone doesn’t it? But I heard something this weekend that made me straighten up, listen, and begin to re-evaluate my habit of shoulding people.

“YOU CAN’T MAKE PEOPLE BECOME SOMEONE THEY AREN’T.”

WHAT????....SERIOUSLY???  

Yeah, seriously.

Let me say it this way…You can’t make someone into something that suits you. You can’t define what you think that person can or can’t be…because it isn’t your job. It isn’t your birthright to try and mold people into what you want them to be. They have their own perceptions, their own aspirations, and their own ideals of what makes them who they are. Your birthright is to be the best, most loving, authentic person you can be, while discovering all the wonders life has to offer you. It’s about changing your own idea about yourself and how you take shape in your experience of life.

There is nothing noble about taking someone who might not understand where their power lies and try and mold them into something you want them to be. Life is a journey. It’s as individual as the skin and bones that house your soul. Taking on someone’s responsibility of how they should act and how they should behave is only setting you up for disappointment, believe me…because they will NEVER live up to the expectations you’ve set for them. And on the flip side, they might not conform to the limited definition you labeled them with either. So why do we continue to do it? Why are we hurt when they don’t become what we want them to? I’ll tell you why (of course right?)…because it isn’t your responsibility to define who they are and what they should be doing. Do you hear me? Let me say that again…It isn’t your responsibility to save or change anyone.

OH…YEAH…BUT…but nothing. It isn’t your job, responsibility, or right to project your definition of who they should be on anyone…ever. Who gave you the right? Certainly not any Divine Intelligence that I am aware of. I know we all have such good intentions but sometimes those good intentions end up smacking the people we love right between the eyes.

If you truly want to know…your responsibility is to be the best person you know how to be. Be the encouraging friend, supportive partner, caring parent, compassionate relative and loving human being you were placed on this earth to be. We all are born to shine; we are all here to experience the creative urge of life.

What goes around comes around in this world... “It is done unto you as you believe.” So now the question is…what do you believe? Do you believe you are a mighty moving force in this world? Or are you willing to sacrifice your happiness to the judgments of others? 

Don’t let fear dictate how you experience your life. You are born in love, made out of love and are animate from love with every breath you take. You wouldn’t long for something better if you weren’t meant to have it! You wouldn’t ache for peace and harmony in your life if it wasn’t something which already existed in your DNA. You can't see love, but you know it exists. You can’t physically hold a thought in your hands, but you know it’s there. We exist in a material world governed by invisible laws. Laws we use every day and yet never comprehend their true power. Let’s face it…you reap what you sow! So what are you planting in the garden of your life?

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings.

Love,

Gretchen