Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
I haven't had the chance to write lately, call it busy time of year, maybe it is the guilt(ies) creeping up on me for trying to cut time out of my life to write, or just too much "life" to contend with.
So guess what? I came down with the flu. Yep, the flu, achy, cold sweats, hot, upset stomach, even the unmentionables, basically, the whole nine yards.
Do you think it might be my body's way of trying to slow me down?
I pulled up my Google calendar and every day had something I had to do for someone. My "to do" color seemed to be beaming its bright green body, filling every day on my computer screen. Even though every person in my family has a different color, this week mine seemed to be the most predominate.
Maybe it was my body's way of trying to slow me down.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am always grateful to help people, but for some reason, I was the one who got hammered with a sickness to encounter.
So I had to cancel carpools, call in sick to work, miss a conference and rely on other people to shuffle my family to their events. Something I am not used to. I couldn't believe I spent the entire day in bed.
It had to be my body's way of trying to slow me down.
Wait a minute! Isn't it my job to be super momma? Moms aren't supposed to be sick, moms are supposed to be super human that will ignore their own issues so the family doesn't suffer disorganization or worse, complete melt down. Because we all know that if momma is down, the whole ship is sinkin' too!
My body doesn't realize I don't have time to slow down.
Well, even though the captain was down in the sickbay, the ship sailed through the rough waters just fine. Little did I know, or maybe I knew, but didn't want to believe that the ship was sturdier than I thought. Yeah, maybe there were a couple of rough patches that could have been handled differently, but all in all, my family survived my one day of the flu.
Now I just hope I am up and around tomorrow, because two days of this and I could have the Titanic on my hands.
I have to face it-- it was my body telling me to slow down.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
So I sit here on Thanksgiving morning as the sun warms my back and the crisp air outside frosts my toes with chills, thinking about all the things I am grateful for. Yeah, I could make a huge list, starting with wonderful nature that surrounds me and narrowing it down to the smiles on my kids' faces, but today I want to be a little more specific. Too many times I will generalize in my life. Not far off from the answers we hear spouting from the next Ms. America. "I would like to see peace on earth and world hunger eradicated."
I could say I am thankful for the people in my life and the experiences I am fortunate enough to have. But doesn't that go without saying? Those are safe answers, things that I can say without thinking about it. Thoughts and words I could spew without bursting open the personal space I tucked so delicately into the protected pocket of my heart. Today, I want to be specific. I want to reach into that pocket and let people know what I am truly grateful for. So here it goes, these are just a few things I am grateful for on this wonderful, Thanksgiving morning.
In no particular order, I am thankful for the ability of choice, the laughter of my children, the people I hold tight to my heart, the compassion my children exhibit, the unconditional love that bubbles and overflows my heart, the lack of foresight to worry about what total strangers think of me, the capacity to forget the pain of betrayal, the never-ending support from everyone who knows I have found my calling, the stories that flow so abundantly from my mind and I am graciously thankful to all of you who decide to stop by and read my ramblings.
Today is the day to vocalize what you are grateful for. Allow yourself to feel the meaning of Thanksgiving, and after you've taken a moment to count your blessings, remember to multiply your good and send it out into the world. We are waiting….
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Okay so it's been a little longer than usual since I've posted. Really sorry about that~ been working and just dog tired when I've sat down to write. Things have been taking over my time. You know-- family, house, work, friends, and commitments, they all seem to need a piece of me. Sometimes I feel like Playdough. I'm being stretched, pulled, tugged and twisted into shapes everyone else needs me to be.
Survival gives us the ability to transform into what we need to be at any given moment, but it is our humanity that keeps us doing it.
I don't usually talk about my family on this blog; it has been one of my rules. Less details about my personal life, the better, however; tonight as changed the sheets on our bed (because let's face it, either we are in the shower or we're changing the sheets when we have an "Ah-Ha" moment) I spread out the huge blanket my mother-in-law gave us, and I started thinking about her.
She was a quiet, gentle, nurturing soul, who was abundantly funny and overflowing with love. She was never meddlesome or angry. As I let my mind churn the thoughts of her, I realized how much I missed her. See she transcended this world over six years ago and ever since, there has been a vacancy in my life.
She was sick and went to the hospital early one morning, and passed away that evening. When we arrived at the hospital, she was already in a coma. I never got to tell her I loved her, or thank you. I never got to say goodbye. A day— 12 hours and my life changed.
Did I take her for granted? Absolutely, I never, in my wildest dreams thought about the possibility that in one day I would lose someone that made such a quiet impact on my life. It was only years later did I understand what a huge difference she made in my life and what she taught me. Through her actions I learned what type of mother-in-law I want to be to my sons' wives. Through her words I understood where my husband gets his wit and through her compassion I recognized the sacrifices she made to keep her family safe. She taught me things, even when she didn't know it.
I'm not telling you about her to get some pity points, or cyber-pats on the back. I tell you this story because sometimes we don't realize how fast the world can change when we aren't paying attention. The lessons we lose when we don't take advantage of the time people are with us or we lose the life altering experiences because we are too busy being angry, jealous or spiteful.
We never know when life is going to throw us a curve ball. We never know what is going to happen. So what if we chose to swing instead of backing away? What if we decided to let go of that angst or hate and forgive and forget. We all have people we hold at the top of our "it's your fault list". What if we decided to start erasing one name at a time? Would we see a difference in our experiences? What if we gave up our story and decided it was time to write a new one?
I guess what this post today is morphing into is, take advantage of the positive around you. Live the experiences around you, good, bad or indifferent. Because there will come a day when your life will change, it's inevitable, and it would really suck if the last thoughts you had were— I wish I would have…
Take on the day, smile at a stranger and give back to the community around you, and you will see how different your life can be.
Thanks for reading!