Sunday, March 6, 2011
We have all experienced the results of expectation. You wake up in the morning and before your feet even hit the floor, we already know what type of day we are going to have. Consciously or not, we’ve already decided if the day is going to be living up to our expectations or if our expectations are going to be living up to the day. It just boils down to how we are going to let expectations and experiences rule our day.
If we decide to let the day dictate what to expect, then we will spend the day living up to everyone's definition of who we are. We’ve began the day behind the eight-ball; so to say. I woke up with a headache, the kids are fighting, my big toe hurts, my husband snored all night long, the dog stinks, my breakfast was burnt, I had to take a cold shower, my bills are all overdue; all are crappy experiences that life seemed to fling your way and hijack your day. Then we go out into our world telling everyone what happened to us. Telling our story of woe, over and over again, until ultimately everyone believes it, including ourselves. Because somehow we’ve become to believe that’s the way we get attention. If our day is a struggle-then people will like us, love us, help us; poor me, my day sucks and so in turn, we get everyone to rally behind us and our sucky day. Then suddenly, before we know it, the experiences of the day become what everyone around me expected. “Oh poor Gretchen, (insert sad attention getter here).” I’m getting attention, negative attention, but attention never the less; because any attention is better than no attention. Do you see what has happened? I’ve let my “story” dictate what other people see in me. I’ve ultimately let my day become other people’s expectations.
At first it is as innocent as just having something to say to someone as you pass by. “Good morning Gretchen, how are you?” Oh goodie, a window to tell someone my woes. “Oh, I’ve been better.” Then I wait for them to take the bait. Please oh please nibble on my statement and ask me what’s wrong. I even let my body externalize so they know it’s really bad. “Oh Gretchen, what’s wrong?” BINGO! Then the floodgate of my crappy day flows forward. “Oh I’ve been ...wah,wah, wah. (again- insert sad attention getter here).”
By design, we’ve been raised to believe people want to hear our stories of woe, and we are ever so ready to tell them. But what if we break that habit? What if we decided to flip-flop our belief systems and tweak our responses? What if we decide to expect perfection from our day? What if we stopped short of telling our stories of woe and started telling our stories of success? I tell you what- the fastest way to get negative people out of your life, is stop being negative. The minute you have nothing negative to say; negative people dissolve from your life. They fall away, because they need someone to feed their addiction to their own negativity. They don’t want to live in their own negativity alone, so they will go out and find someone else to mutter-gut with. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t bad people. They just don’t see that you can live with a greater expectation of good. They can’t see the forest through the trees.
The time is now to expect greater good. It is as normal as breathing. We are experiencing life to the level of what our expectations are. So the dog stinks, bathe it, so your husband snores, get earplugs, the kids are fighting, make them pull weeds. We must work every minute of every day to see the good in things, even when it doesn’t appear to have anything good about it. You see it with people who are fighting life threatening diseases, the people who decide to celebrate their small successes and little accomplishments, tend to do the best. When the grains of sand pour though the narrow collar of their life’s hourglass, they celebrate the grains of sand they have left.
It’s time we started looking at our hourglasses filled with the life we have and start praising the grains of sand we are so lucky to have. Let go of the negative expectations that blister our days and embrace the greatness waiting to shine through. Now is the time to believe you deserve all the good that comes your way. Today is the day to embody your greatness!
Thanks for hanging around to read my ramblings~