What I Love to Hate, and Hate to Love.

What causes us as a species, to love with so much compassion, or to hate with such conviction? What ties us together and at the same time rips us apart? Is it our humanity, divinity or complacency?

I don't know the answer. I know I am complex enough to feel a multitude of emotions in a flash of a moment. I know the golden rule when it applies to me and I know the curse when it doesn't.

Why is it as a pedestrian I hate the cars speeding past me in the crosswalk and as a driver I hate the pedestrians taking their own sweet time to cross? Why is it okay for me to talk on the phone while driving, while everyone else is breaking the law? Perception and convenience has a lot to do with it.

Hypocrisy? You bet. Are we raised this way, maybe, but what is it going to take to bring us together as a race, the human race. We bet on losses and trade on probability. Is it wrong? I don't know. Is it right to cheer for destruction while we rally for restoration? Or borrow from one to pay another? Could it be that we are so conditioned to believe in duality that we apply it to every aspect of our lives (health, finances, happiness, and experiences). Does everything we taste, touch, smell, see, and hear have to mirror an equal negative to each positive? Maybe.

I can tell you what I believe. For every action there is an equal and relevant reaction, (better known as cause and effect). I knock over a glass of water, the water reacts and spills out of the glass. I hit my thumb with a hammer, it's gonna swell. It's the basic science of cause and effect. We all know the saying, "What goes around, comes around" or "Do unto others, as you want others to do unto you." So I try (I said try) to live this way. I believe what I put out there, will come back to me. I see examples of this all the time in my daily life. On days I am frustrated or sad my demeanor becomes a magnet for drawing it into my life. If I adjust and "fake it 'til I make it", I see what starts to happen around me.

When I consciously redirect my thoughts to deliberately smile at people, guess what? People will smile back. When I make the mental choice to see the good in people around me, good begins to surface around me. It only takes one drop to create a ripple that affects the masses for miles. Is a bucket of ocean water any "less ocean" when you bring it up on the beach? Ocean water is ocean water, whether it's in a bucket or swelling in its massive form. Are babies less alive than adults? Get where I'm going?

Just because things at a particular moment don't seem like they should be, doesn't mean they aren't what they are supposed to be. There is the same amount of sugar in my coffee when I scooped it into my drink as there was when the heat of my drink dissolved it. It just took on a different form. So who's to say I can't be happy on a crappy day or grateful for a situation that is less than ideal? It is those events that shape me into who I am today and the sooner I own them and look at them as opportunities to learn, change, and grow, the sooner I realize it is in my power how I am going to react. No more do I have to react to a situation, because other people expect me to.

I sent out several queries to agents and about half replied with a, no thanks. Am I down or feel any less publishable? Not even. They weren't meant to represent me. Out there, in the massive industry, known as literary agents, someone is waiting for my story. My belief and reaction, rely upon the knowingness that the right and perfect agent is out there, waiting for me to query them.

How I react to situations, will dictate my day and right now, my day is pretty darn good.