What Are We Asking For?

I never meant to write about my spirituality, my belief system or what makes me tick. It was never my intention to create such a personal and revealing blog. I created Written & Ready to have somewhere to post about my journey of being an author and things I’ve learned as I’ve navigated through the process.

The state of my last few blog posts haven’t been the most positive or what some of you have come to expect to read. But being so intimate with you through my words and connecting to the creativeness that fosters my vulnerability I must remember certain posts will resonate with some of you, while other posts would be better left unread.

Thank you for sharing in my vulnerability and your thoughtful responses. Thank you for coming back and recognizing the compassion that binds each of us to one another.

Sometimes when we are bent and twisted into uncomfortable conclusions or our expectations dwindle to regrets and every salutation begins to waver away from our inner Truth; we can’t help but begin to look outside of ourselves to be made whole again. We are wounded by the spires of words piercing the deepest cracks of our souls. We take the longest routes to inner peace and struggle to remain embedded in the misery because we think it will protect us from truly feeling life.

I get it…I don’t live in a bubble pretending to know the answers to every murky moment. But I do know that sometimes it isn’t the answer we need to look for; sometimes we must come to realize that maybe we keep asking the wrong question.

What if we are asking the wrong questions? What motivates us to keep magnifying the problem instead of the solution?

It’s what we do every day that will define what the world makes of us or what we make of the world. Struggling isn’t our way; worry, doubt, fear and lack aren’t natural for mankind. IF those negative experiences were supposed to be our true existence, than we wouldn’t long for peace, love, joy and abundance in our lives. We would be meek and meager living in the complacency of darkness. 

We desire the light because we are forever expanding and expressing our lives through nature. We need to stop defining ourselves by the world around us. We aren’t our physical conditions, our bank accounts or our jobs. We are the porters of Creative Expression; we are the curators of Knowledge, and the guardians of Love.

Even when it seems like nothing is going right and life has kicked us in the gut yet again, we still seek the comfort of a hug, or the reassuring inspiration of the written word. So often we fall to our knees in moments of weakness only to forget to stand up in times of unbinding strength. But it’s when we reconnect with what makes us strong and we live from gratitude then moments that bring us to our knees become fewer and far between.

Don’t waste time wallowing in the mistakes of yesterday, it will not brighten today, and waiting for tomorrow to be healed will just bring disappointment. It is living today that dissolves the pains of yesterday and the expectations of tomorrow. It is being present in the exact moment of taking a breath that defines who we are.

It’s time we stopped holding our breaths.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

Blood Isn't Thicker Than Water...

Most of you know that my blog is where I work out my creative moments of realization. Maybe this post isn’t the most positive; maybe not even the most beautiful use of words, okay it’s not the most perfect moment to heave the tired and weary words clouding my thoughts, but it’s all I have to give.

So as I work through watching someone I love fighting not to die, I find myself struggling not to resent being left as the keeper of the keys. Lack of love or compassion has nothing to do with it. I love her so much it hurts. But waiting for decisions, while completely powerless; is painful. Blood isn’t thicker than water.

SUFFER NO MORE MY DEAR FRIEND

Skin clinging to bones like wet skirts pulled by gravity.

Muscles dissolved, twitching to feel life.

Veins bleeding for a life, vacuumed against worldly experiences.

Breath struggling for a rhythm locked by forgotten words.

Eyes closed, wasting the beauty between life and death.

Sparks of your fire keeps raging for more time.

Tell me what you want me to do?

Life’s unkind, bringing demons to your thoughts.

Mind won’t stop fluctuating between then and now.

Happy moments torture your missing thoughts.

Bones crumble and decay while shaking for support.

Smiles keep wasting away to bitter scowls.

Do you know who I am?

Bless this life, reduced to a reluctant player.

Aged to believe that suffering is for the righteous.

An unforgettable story of strapping death to the old.

Please resign in peace and know true love.

Be free from the prison your body has created.

Know the beginning of another journey.

Wake another without pain, without suffering.

Dignity is yours—my dear friend.

 

Sufferable Moments...

Why do we feel we must suffer through moments we can’t manage? What happens to make us believe we can control any situation that arises? Haven’t we’ve figured out…nothing is what it seems? Black and white doesn’t matter when there’s a rainbow of reasons.

When our lives seem to be skidding out of control and we reach a point where all we can do is throw up our hands and watch the steering wheel spin back and forth as we hope we don’t wipe someone out on the way through it. 

Sometimes we feel like we’ve become prisoners buckled in the seat forced to watch the situation unfold; messy or not, scary or exhilarating, all we can be are the spectators to an experience greater than who we are.

As much as we try and spin the steering wheel of the little carnival car, the ride still goes on the path it is designed to go. As children we think we are driving the little buses, fire trucks and police cars as they go in circles but as adults we see that it is the carnie dude controlling our experience.

Just like in life, we act like children, thinking we are in control of every situation that life throws our way. Little do we realize the only thing we can control is our reaction to the experience. We must remember life is fluidic, it ebbs and flows with every reaction we give it.

We can hate the ride or we can love it; that is the beauty or the curse of freedom of choice. It doesn’t matter if we are fully aware that we can only control our reaction, we will still struggle and try to control the situation. It’s only when we change our response to living that we start to make our lives our own.

We struggle to trust, to love and to let go. That’s the problem that keeps clouding our greatness. We are so much bigger than our limited existence. We must wake up to the idea that there is a power greater than we are and it is waiting for us to get our bloated nothingness out of the way. 

Boundless as this power is, we must first accept it in our lives, adopt it in our thinking and speak it in our own voice. We must surrender to this unlimited potential in order to experience total peace, limitless abundance and unconditional love.

We must first start with ourselves; we need to listen to how we talk. Is there self judgment? Is our experience always someone else’s fault? Are we always the victim?

Then we must ask; are we living up to our unlimited potential? Are we being the best people we can be? Are we happy for the success of others?

Because let’s face it; we can’t love someone else until we love ourselves. We can’t experience peace until we wish peace for others. And when we give of ourselves unconditionally to the world it will open up and be our oyster.

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings~ Have a wonderful day.

Dust to Dust...

Dealing with someone who’s crumbling while they cling to a thin thread of hope that keeps them in an experience can be so painful.

How much can someone take before they decide they are done fighting for a limited existence? Why do we grapple and struggle with the idea that it’s okay to let go?

When are we truly done with letting fear dictate the end of our lives? Why has pain and suffering become the expected end?

We don’t have to suffer in order to die. We don’t have to be sad in order to let go.

If we truly believe in life after death, or something other than a vacuous nothingness, then we shouldn’t have to lay claim to suffering in order to transcend this existence.

It doesn’t make us nobler to live in pain, or lay and rot from the inside out. We don’t have to accept the limited belief that in order to die we have to fall perfectly into the definition of what to die from.

Maybe someone is dying because it is time. And what is time but a man made measurable moment? Who’s to say we have to live in that limited belief?

We weep for the dead and dying because of lost time. Moments they won’t experience with us anymore.

Let us wash away the sadness and feel the memories we have tucked away so delicately in the special folds in our minds. Let the waters of Unconditional Love cleanse the loss of the body and celebrate the freedom of the soul.

So I must tell myself everyday...

Live life moment by moment. Stop worrying about tomorrow, keep yesterday in the past and radiate presence in this moment now. Taste, feel and hear all the greatness around you. Close your eyes and realize you can’t feel where you end and the world begins. Live awake in the present moment. Taste the food you’ve had the pleasure to make, see the renewal of nature around you and truly listen with both ears.

Thanks for hanging out and reading my ramblings.

The Grandeur of Gratitude!

Gratitude comes from a place where time has no relevance.

Space isn’t wasted on sprigs of disappointments;

Or aspersions doused with hate. 

It flows without shape and warrants nothing more than acceptance.

It speeds with intention and won’t choose on its own.

Once acknowledged it floods life with meaning and embraces every moment weightlessly.

Lifting life higher than the world could ever dream;

Grateful hearts carry the rectitude of the open minded.

It is time to splash the waters of the renewed against accepting skin and bathe in its splendor.

Dampening all the disbelief and washing away the grinding sands of cynical thought.

Stand amongst the shadows of grand moments and embody the gratitude patiently waiting to be recognized.

Then humanity will experience the infinite grandeur of the Universe.

Forsaken Mind

Why does the back of my throat tighten and my heart begin to sputter when I think of the deafening vernacular of a brilliant woman? Is it the fear of losing her reassuring, matter of fact phrases that tumble with ease from her lips? Could it be the twinkle that shows up in her tattered eyes when she feels my fingers brush against the back of her hand? Or her jaded smile that grows soft by means of my voice?

It is so hard to see a person who was supposed to be around forever; even though forever wasn’t left, crumbling before me. Her thin bones and pale skin so tightly bent against the thick air between us. Not knowing if today is a forgotten tomorrow or splashes of another grateful moment.

Will her voice become hollow in my head, or will I cling to the echoes of our convenient memories together? Does it even matter? Whether losing her now, in buried bones or tomorrow with a lifetime of painted canvases stripped stroke by stroke.

Deteriorating from the inside out while procrastinating the inevitable; can someone please tell me that life goes on?

I recognize life moves in stages, sections, chapters and legacies; but what does she have left? While her world crashes down, look for me, protecting the truth of who she truly is.

Dear lady, tread lightly along the sharp edge of reality while you frolic against the blunt frame of senselessness. Decorate your memories with the righteous and play with me along the raining sands of an hourglass. Sweet, brilliant woman, rest your head, pick up your feet and know that YOU will never be forgotten.

Nature by raymo